BEST KIND OF BURN

Oh my goodness. The sweet, sweet pain of longing.

I’m no stranger to loving from a distance. My first experiences of the intoxicating love chemicals were ignited through the fantasy of boys I’d never even talked to.

Who was your first painful crush? Was it a celebrity? Was it a boy or girl in your class at school?

When you think about it, where do you feel those sensations of yearning in your body? Can you slow down and tap into any of those sensations right now?

Yearning is erotic for some of us… 🙋🏻‍♀️

Wanting someone who is out of reach can create a beautiful conflicted feeling of torture.

Are you someone who enjoys beautiful feelings of torturous longing?

🎧 TAKE A DEEP LISTEN

This fantasy is a hit

and I'm already high 

rolling around in my sheets

tangled in longing 

the best kind of burn

a lonely ache 

that hurts so good 

you are so far out of reach 

and I like it

I like how it stings

I like the drama 

of being brought to my knees 

by how much I want you

I like the secret we keep

you call me from your car 

late at night 

not to wake her

There's an innocence 

because we don't flirt 

It's not sexual 

It never has been 

I'm not trying to steal you

I just love talking to you

we have this mental/emotional connection

and we talk about spirituality 

and philosophy

music

art

revealing things 

about our childhood 

and our dreams 

and the potential of what we could be 

our biggest fears

the unknown

what makes us ache

I want it to be innocent 

because we don't flirt 

It's not sexual

It never has been 

but damn it

I want you

it's so strong

that sometimes

I think you want me too 

you came to my house 

to have dinner and talk

It's raining

and you're standing across from me 

staring… first kiss vibes 

but you have a girlfriend 

and I'm just staring back 

last night in my dream

you were there 

I saw you and her 

with your house and these kids

yellow white walls

it was sunny and bright

and you looked so happy 

I saw your future

but there was this line down the middle

on the other side was darkness

sweaty bodies pressed up 

against one another

making love

deep, deep, fucking

the most intense kind of love

but it was me you were penetrating 

and you were nourished and satisfied 

I told you about the dream

but I left myself out

changed the details 

to be some mysterious woman 

I couldn't recognize 

I could tell that you knew 

the way you're staring at me

standing too close for too long 

you told me once 

you always jump 

from one relationship 

to another 

starting one 

before the other is over

I listen to what you say 

because I'm trying 

to get to know you

and I know 

you'll do it to me next

so I hold the line 

I don't want to be 

the reason you leave her

you have to make that decision

on your own

don't tell me 

you're questioning your engagement

creating a silence for me to fill 

I grieved that moment 

for five years straight

that small window I had 

that I could have said

choose me

I couldn't say it 

because you weren't choosing me

we didn't really know each other

I didn't even know if you watch TV

you only showed me 

the best parts of you

these two hour talks 

where I had your undivided attention

and your attention is so good

and it had me hooked

and it took so many years 

to unhook myself from 

what we could have been

I don't want to be the reason

you leave her

you have to make

that decision on your own

I wanted to be chosen

I didn't want to be 

the consolation prize